~May Your Light Shine :D~

Thursday, January 12, 2006

The Recent shocking news about my friend Junny' s Dad who suffered an heart attack awoke my greatest fear again. A fear I've been harbouring ever since 3 of my friends died in a car accident last year. The fear of seeing people I love and Care for pass away or even to suffer. Shuba, Kalai were 2 of my friends whom I dearly cared for. Shuba was the closest to me, since we were in all sorts of Ko-Ku activities together. I remember the times we used to sit together and she would pick girlfriends for me. I would say that I like this one and that one and she would say ' Aiya, that one not nice lah , Naveen'. I remember when we used to sneak out of Choral Speaking Practice just to irratate the teacher. I remember how she always says ' Hi Naveen, how are you?' witha great big cheery smile whenever and wherever she sees me. But when she was in Form 6, I wasn't as close to as before since she and I were busy with our own things. Ironically, the last week of her life was when she and I got back together again. We were suppose to go eat out for our Club dinner when she died. I remember the last time she spoke to me and said ' See you on Saturday Naveen (the day we were supposed to go out ,bye. I remember getting the call telling me that I would never see her again from my Mum. I remember all the Indians in Tampin coming to the hospital to comfort each other inn grief. I remember watching her mum wailing as she morned the death of her only daughter. I remember when I struggled with God, feeling He cheated me out of something, that He was so cruel and heartless taking away my friends. But everything God gives, good or bad is for the betterment of someone. Losing Shubs taught me that I should be grateful and thankful for my wonderful friends. it also taught me that was life was extremely fragile and that I should live life today, because the person we might care for today might not be there tomorrow. That is why I was so shocked to hear about Junny's Dad. I couldn't even sleep that night because I was so worried not only of Junny's family, but also Aunty Esther's family who are like a second family to me. A fear of seeing my loved ones suffer, made me panic, (possibly more than Junny did) and also angry that no one, not even Junny or Su Lin even bothered to tell me about what happened. Sometime I wish God would take me before my time because I don't think I could handle another death of a Family or Friend. But if I do, I know that I've got to trust and depend on God....

PolarTwilight blogged at 2:36 PM

May your light shine...
in the darkness...